Module 2 Writing Activity

In your journal, continue your observations of the scene observed in journal 1.  Note several vivid action verbs that you have already used. Revise some of your sentences using action verbs and/or write 2-3 new sentences with action verbs. Try not to use any of the forms of “to be” (is, are, was, etc.).  Underline the action verbs in your sentences. Again, you will want to keep all of these sentences at hand as you do the peer reviewed writing at the end of the unit.

this is the scene that I was using... looks like I have to work it over a bit.

As I stared into deep brown eyes of my dining companion, I was unaware of the hustle and bustle going on around us.  Servers were getting orders and visiting with their customers.  The hostess showed more customers to tables around us.  My companion and I spoke to our server and ordered. The server was efficient and the food served quickly.  We dug into the deep fried fish, I had perch, while my companion ate cod.  The plates were filled with French fries, coleslaw and rye bread.  

I wrote this in the past and as you can see there are many "helping" verbs and not as much action.

The sentence "servers were getting orders and visiting with their customers" can definitely be changed.

"I had perch, while my companion ate cod."

"The plates were filled with French fries, coleslaw and rye bread."  Most of this is quite bland and needs more action to show the hustle and bustle of the busy restaurant.

Quite boring and needs more work.